Should there be a baby shower not only for the mother to be but also for the father to be? I have heard that it's starting to happen. I have read that some couples are starting to do a combined shower. Other couples are doing separate ones to make it special for each person. Am I in favor of this, yes I am. I think expectant fathers get pushed to the side for a bit while his wife/partner/girlfriend is getting all the attention and excitement about the pregnancy. People might say, its just a baby shower, not a big deal and it should be for the women. Well even something like a baby shower for a father to be would I think help that father be better at everything throughout the pregnancy and being a father. He will feel he is a part of it from day one and it might click a little better if people did something for him..even something as simple as all his friends just take him out and all enjoy the moment together. Being Male its hard for us to admit it but we would like some appreciation and congratulations as well.
I mean us fathers get the "congratulations" and the "well done's" but it doesn't really go past that. Us expectant fathers whether we like to admit it or not consciously or sub consciously feel kind of left out. It's great to see the mother of the child get the attention but perhaps not all of it should go to her. Its a 50/50 baby making process, it should be a 50/50 relationship and so the excitements and parties should be 50/50 as well. This in turn will help expectant fathers feel a bit more involved and a part of something. Yes the father knows he is about to have a child and that he knows he will be there for that child no matter what but he needs to feel that he is a part of the process from day one. The day the wife/partner/girlfriend finds out she is pregnant he should feel the same way as the woman. I think that if the father is a part of it all from day one will help make him appreciate and understand the pregnancy more, the labor, love his children a bit more and feel more involved.
Fathers that don't seem to get much attention during the pregnancy or be involved during seem to be more distant as a father. I think the mentality of "well you said you could do it on your own" or "you said you didn't need help" or "my mom is here to help" etc starts pushing him out from the get go and so he feels, well if she doesn't need my help or no one wants my help, whether she means it or not, then whats the point and then that bad habit, thought, action starts and just builds. It should be a happy experience and bring the whole family closer together. Whether its the first child or number 2, 3 or 4, the experience should a happy one every time. Yes there are circumstances where things can go wrong but even in those times if the father is involved from day one it will be better for him so he can feel like he is a part of something and give the help he needs to.
Its a scary and exciting time for both in the relationship when one finds out they are pregnant and the couple needs all the help, whether that be emotional, physical etc they can get. Women get that from day one, from their mother, their grandmother, girl friends, really just other women. Men don't really get that and so I think we need more of it. It should be one of the biggest deals in a mans life. So I pass this thought on to you and to my son and perhaps future sons. Its our responsibility to start helping making the future father feel appreciated and wanted and know that he is just as important in the whole process.
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